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Are You Abandoning Your Relationship To Early?

Is Your Relationship Over?

Deciding when to end a relationship is not easy, even though it sometimes seems inevitable. But are you abandoning your relationship sooner than you should? Here are seven signs you could be heading for the door prematurely.

The Not-So Red Flags

1. You Had a Heated Argument

Couples say things they don’t mean during a fight, and if you allow heated words to lead to a breakup, you could be making a mistake. Arguments are a healthy part of any relationship if you follow the rules, which include knowing when it’s time to take a break to cool off before somebody gets hurt. Think about what the argument was really about, and decide if there is something you can learn from it to better understand your partner’s point of view.

2. The Little Things Annoy You

So your partner smacks their lips when reading a cookbook, or they watch reality television like they’re rooting for the Super Bowl. Are these really relevant reasons to abort a relationship? They could be, but first, ask yourself if you are expecting too much. Every successful relationship depends on the ability of both parties to see past the little, negative things and focus on the big things.

3. Your Goals and Plans Have Changed

Whenever a couple is compatible enough to have created a list of future plans and goals together, that is a good sign. But if your plans have evolved due to life changes, should you walk out the door? See if you can make compromises and set new goals if you can’t continue with your original plans before you abandon the relationship.

4. Not All of Your Needs Are Being Met

Feeling that zing in a relationship is great, but at the end of a lifetime, it is the percentage of basic needs that were met that really matter. Don’t be too quick to throw your relationship away if you’re only getting 70 percent of what you need from your partner. Perhaps a portion of that other 30 percent can be negotiated successfully.

5. Your Partner Refuses to Change

Other than abuse and addiction, change is something that works best when it involves compromise rather than a demand. If you run your relationships purely on your expectations, you will always be disappointed, and your partner will both resent you and feel constantly attacked. Begin by figuring out if your demands are reasonable, and go from there.

6. Negotiations are Rocky

It’s not a good idea to go into a relationship thinking you can change someone. However, if you’re already there and having problems, and your partner says they are willing to negotiate to make things better, why not give them the chance? As long as it’s not an infinite number of chances because if they don’t do what they say initially, it is unlikely they ever will.

7. You Think They Could Do Better

There is a reason why your partner is with you, and it has something to do with attraction and/or love. If you think your partner could do better, the problem is more you than them. The fear of competition in relationships can cause people to make a lot of mistakes, but none so big as to abandon a good relationship simply because you’re afraid of losing your partner eventually. Rather than see yourself in competition for your partner’s affection, focus on the value you bring to their life because that’s what matters the most.

Give it a Fighting Chance

Being in a relationship can be difficult. It takes a lot of energy, compromise, and patience. The rewards of being with someone who loves and supports you, however, far outweigh the work that goes into one. Not every relationship is going to be successful, and there are legitimate reasons to end a relationship but don’t give up on yours because of a mild inconvenience. You may be walking out on the love of your life.

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