Is ghosting ruining your relationship, here is what to do about it.
Most of us by now have heard or had to use the expression “ghosting”. Ghosting is when someone in a relationship ends the relationship without explanation. There is no more communication, only silence from the ghosting person. They vanish like a ghost from the ghosted persons life.
People Ghost More Often Than Thought
Ghosting is more common than most people might think, due to the increase of technology as a tool in our relationships. Ghosting is a common reaction to uncomfortable feelings. The ghoster can stop responding and never have to face any consequence.
Ghosting is unlike radio silence, or the silent treatment, two methods often used to manipulate. Ghosting is traumatic, leading to mental health issues, damaged self esteem, and even problems in future relationships.
Why Do People Ghost?
“What did I do?” is the first question after being ghosted.
It’s important to remember ghosting says more about the person doing it, than vice versa. It’s often a displays of their lack or weakness of character. But unfortunately, this does not the difficult feelings go away or lessen the pain at all.
Try to think back to a time in which somebody last ghosted you. What happened? Did you say something to invite this sort of abnormal reaction?
Perhaps it was during a casual online dating situation or after a few dates. Maybe you were just getting to know the other person, and they dropped off the face of the earth. Or, it was a friend that was avoiding you after a difficult conversation.
The Person Ghosting Has Issues
Some people do not like to have emotional closeness or have issues with communication. These people tend to use ghosting to deal with difficult situations more often. Though people with uncomfortable feelings around conflict will not always be ghoster.
People spend a lot of time online, it’s not wonder it’s a common place to develop new relationships. This causes a lack of human connection and physical bonding, making it easier to ghost. Once the connection with someone feels over, the person disappears.
What Happens When We are Ghosted?
The act of being ghosted is damaging for everyone involved. The recipient is left feeling hurt, angry, rejected. But the person doing the ghosting is also left with difficult feelings, having to carry the guilt and shame of treating someone poorly.
The after effects can be very damaging. Both parties mistrust new relationships, reducing the opportunity for intimacy and authentic connection.
Ghosting Creates Unhealthy Relationship Habits
Lastly, the most important point is that ghosting creates unhealthy relationship habits. When conflict and uncomfortable feelings are bad, the common way to stop being ghosted is to keep things “perfect”.
This false sense of security in a relationship can lead to lying, deceit, and passive-aggressiveness. This makes building healthy relationships hard. It prevents building true friendships and leads to shallow connections.