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Coping With An Insecure Boyfriend

What an indescribable feeling it is when you meet a guy who values you and treats you like you are the most important woman in the world to him. You feel so cherished and so loved, especially if in the past you have only dated insensitive and narcissistic men. But what if this this man that you consider to be Mr. Right, actually turns out to be just like all the other men you have dated previously? Or worse? Because when you start dating an insecure man, the beginning is rather rosy.



Initially, you will be showered with gifts, compliments and so much love that you will feel like you are on top of the world. You may feel like the luckiest girl alive. You won’t just feel it but you’ll know it.

However, what usually happens is that after a few weeks, the affection he shows towards you suddenly turns into an obsession. He demands your constant attention and needs you to prove your love for him all the time. From texting him all day long to paying attention to him every single time he says your name, you will be expected to constantly smother him with love because he just doesn’t stop asking for it.

t can get quite tiring and frustrating if you have to continuously prove your love to your insecure boyfriend. And over time, you will also be introduced to his mind games. Mind games when dating an insecure man are tough to handle so watch out, because it’s about to get really bumpy. An emotionally insecure man can be a dating nightmare but if you truly love him, then there are way to cope with your boyfriend’s insecurity.


Dating An Insecure Man — What Is It Like?

Are insecure guys worth dating? Dating an insecure man can make the dating experience quite unsatisfying. Constantly fighting, having silly relationship arguments, trying to understand each other’s moods…and all because he doesn’t believe where you were last night. This can start to get exhausting and will eventually take a toll on your mental health too.

He is overprotective, possessive and gets jealous at the drop of a hat; he exhibits low levels of self-esteem and even considers himself unworthy of your love. And this is why he does not take a second to switch his mood, accuse you, or even barrage you with calls and messages when you are not around. His internal turmoil spills all over your relationship.


When you first started dating, it actually seemed quite cute when your insecure boyfriend kept asking you what you were doing or who you were hanging out with. You probably liked the fact that he was taking such an active interest in your life, showering you with concern, not really realizing that you were actually dating someone with insecurities.

However, as time passed and his true colors started to show, it was but natural that you started to get annoyed by the fact that he constantly expects you to be answerable to him. Chances are that most of your major fights have been about you missing his calls or not replying to his texts in a timely manner.

You will never know for sure what goes on in the mind of an insecure boyfriend. One moment, he can make you feel extremely important and special, like he would steal the moon and the stars for you. But at other times, he might make you feel suffocated in the relationship.


Dominant Traits Of An Insecure Man

Before you exclaim, “My boyfriend is insecure and ruining our relationship!”, let’s cover some traits of an insecure man before we jump to any massive conclusions. Yes, you could indeed be dating an insecure man. But with the following pointers, we will know for sure:

  • He is controlling: Such a man is known for his controlling and manipulating behavior. He will want to dictate what you wear, who you meet, who you talk to, etc. etc.

  • He gets jealous quickly: A jealous boyfriend is the most obvious giveaway that you are dating an insecure man. He will get triggered by the harmless interactions you have with anyone of the opposite sex and might even lash out at you

  • Low confidence: His confidence level is extremely low. He is constantly doubting himself and seeks validation from you. He cares too much about what other people think about him and his life, and always feels the need to compete with others

  • He is emotionally sensitive: One of the problems with dating an insecure man is that he is highly sensitive and gets upset very easily. You will constantly find him taking his anger out on you for the smallest of things or getting hurt over the non-issues

  • He shows off: Dating someone with insecurities means putting up with their show-off attitude at all times. He will love to brag about himself, to hide his shortcomings. This is a defense mechanism that he uses to hide his insecurities

  • Belittling you: Bullying and belittling you will be a habit that he will indulge in regularly. He will constantly criticize you and even make fun your friends. He does this to feel better about himself

  • He cannot take criticism well: Criticism is something that will not be tolerated by an insecure guy. If you point out his flaws he will get extremely angry or even throw a fit if you crack a harmless joke about him

  • He is skeptical: He will always be suspicious of the intentions of others around him and will not be able to trust anyone, including you


Sure Signs That You Are Dating An Insecure Man

Insecurity is one quality which has the potential of damaging any healthy relationship. It can brew lots of tension and even lead to many unresolved issues between the two of you. At the beginning of the relationship, you might feel that your boyfriend is perfect because he cares about you so much.

But soon, that insecurity rears its ugly head and you realize that you are caught in a relationship with an insecure person who has massive and unrealistic expectations of and from you.


Intense’ and ‘draining’ are only two words that begin to describe what dating an insecure man can be like. If you agree with the following signs, then you certainly have reason to say, “My boyfriend is insecure”. Get ready, because this is quite a list.


1. He spends all his time with you

He hardly has any friends or interesting hobbies that can engage him elsewhere. His world only revolves around you and it can become quite smothering for you.


2. He controls every aspect of your life

Instead of giving you space and respecting your opinions, he becomes an insecure boyfriend, controlling each aspect of your life. He wants you to do things exactly his way — from how you dress to what you say.


3. He keeps telling you to be as simple as possible

He’s constantly asking you to dress down because he’s either insecure of his own appearance as compared to you or he does not want any other man ogling you.


4. Feelings of jealousy are second nature to him

He is jealous not only of your male friends, but also of any man who tries to come close to you. He doesn’t like it either if you have close relationships with your girlfriends. He gets rather angry if you buy them gifts or go out of your way to do things for them.


5. He puts you down

Dating someone with insecurities looks a little like this: An insecure boyfriend will belittle you and fail to empower you. He will constantly have a problem with everything you do and this will get very frustrating for you over time.


6. He’s always keeping a check on you

He will keep tabs on you and will want to know where you are, what you are doing, who you are hanging out with, ALL THE TIME. So be prepared to have him start texting you or calling you endlessly when you go out with your friends.


7. He never accepts his mistakes

If he does something wrong, you will notice that he will start blame-shifting, either you or someone else for his mistakes. But he will never own up to his own wrongdoings.


8. He wants to hear compliments but no feedback

He will be happy to take compliments from you as it will boost his low self-esteem But he will not appreciate any kind of feedback or constructive criticism from your side.


9. Your loyalty is doubted

He is always suspicious about your motives and keeps testing your loyalty with mind games and you might not even realize it.


10. He becomes aggressive if things do not go his way

Angry outbursts become a common phenomenon and he becomes aggressive when you try to confront him. Fights can get ugly with him.



And now that we’ve come all this way and established that you are indeed dating an insecure man, it’s time to look into how to tackle the same. Acknowledging this relationship problem is the first step so well done on that.



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