Do arguments in your relationship always seem to come back to money? While it may be a painful conversation, you'll need to evaluate your relationship with money and your partner’s relationship with money to solve this. Once we can relate to, or understand, our partner’s (and our own) relationship with money we can start to heal ourselves and work as a team.
• Your partner may have come from what seemed to be a very comfortable upbringing but if the value of money was spoken about with a sense of shame, guilt or control attached to it, then they may have actually suffered more emotionally than those who had little money growing up. The concept of money will own them.
• Your partner may have been raised to save all their money and so this anxiety of not saving enough secretly chips away at them. When an emergency arises and any savings is spent they may feel resentment.
• Your partner may have had very little growing up so when they get money their impulse control goes out the window because they feel they need to get everything now and are perpetually broke.
• Your partner may feel the need to be responsible for everyone and has actually made money into a third person in your relationship because it’s never enough money that they have made or can obtain. These people often cannot relax.
• Your partner may have inherited money from a parent or loved one and can’t seem to make peace with this so they can’t spend that money but have no trouble spending your money.
• Your partner may feel they need the finer things in life to appear to have more to compensate for others areas of their life they do not feel adequate in.
It’s very common for two people to have opposing views and you both must work to meet in the middle and grow as a couple. Money is tied into our first chakra--our root chakra. It’s connected to our sense of security or safety in the world. Our relationship with the world will generally be tied into our relationship with money.
So ask yourself – Do I feel safe in the world?
How much money would fix this? The truth is that money is just a thing. If you practice the mantra, “At this very moment I have everything I need,” you'll find that right now you actually do have everything you need.