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Transitioning from Friends to Lovers

There are usually signs that a friendship is moving towards becoming something more; it doesn’t just happen out of the blue. How can you tell that something more is a foot? Read on to learn some signs that indicate that you are shifting from friends to lovers.



here’s a lot of flirting going on.

One of the earliest signs that your relationship is transitioning from friends to lovers is that the flirting takes on a new energy and frequency. This is one of the easiest ways to let them know that you are viewing the relationship and them with new eyes.


You are sneaking peeks at each other.

Are you catching yourself constantly sneaking a peek at your ‘friend’? Do you get a rush of energy when they catch you looking at them? Or have you caught them looking at you with new eyes? If so, then things might be moving in a new direction.


You are always in contact with each other.

You regularly touch base throughout the day, whether through phone, text, or email. When you don’t hear from them you feel sad and worry that they aren’t as interested as you are.


You’ve given each other pet names.

We’re not talking about the nicknames that friends sometimes have for each other, we’re talking about those pet names that illicit the fluttering of butterflies in your belly. These names have special meaning and make you feel more connected.

Your body language gives you away.

You can’t control how you subconsciously respond to someone you’re in love with. You lean in a bit more than needed, laugh more easily, gaze lovingly, and have numerous micro-expressions that show how you truly feel.

Their needs become important to you.

When you start thinking about their needs and wants ahead of your own, that is a sure sign that their placement in your priority list has changed.


You get jealous when they are with someone else.

Even when you consciously know that they aren’t into the other person they are hanging out with or talking to, you subconsciously react and have feelings of fear and jealousy. You try to rationalize those feelings away, but they are still there, no matter how irrational they may be.


Friends with Benefits

Maybe the two of your have decided that a full-blown relationship won’t work right now but the physical attraction is undeniable. What then? If you can both separate the physical from the emotional then perhaps a Friends with Benefits (FWB) arrangement might work for you.

Although some people think this type of relationship is easier than a romantic one, they are both complicated in their own ways. There are definitely some important guidelines that should be followed so that everyone gets what they need.


Open communication is a must.

All relationships require honest and open communication, but a FWB situation makes this even more important. How you will define the relationship, and what your needs and expectations are must all be navigated before entering into this form of relationship.


Ensure you are emotionally ready.

If you know that you yearn for an emotional attachment to feel whole, then you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and pain if you enter a FWB arrangement. Be secure enough in yourself that you know that it will be a purely physical connection, nothing more.


Practice safe sex.

This one should be a no brainer no matter the type of relationship you are in, but in a FWB situation, it’s a must.


Keep your heart and mind open to new relationships.

Remember, this most likely won’t be a forever thing, so keeping yourself open to a romantic relationship is a smart move.


Try not to have sleepovers or lots of cuddling.

Keeping the relationship on a platonic level usually means saying goodbye to those actions that elicit more romantic feelings. Cuddling and waking up together can start to shift one or the other parties’ feelings, which could cause the breakup of the friendship.


Don’t be clingy.

You may have to remind yourself that you aren’t in a traditional relationship. You shouldn’t be texting or calling them the way you would your significant other.


Don’t get upset when they meet someone else.

It stands to reason that one of you might fall in love with someone else and need to end the arrangement. If and when this happens, be happy for them and move on. It might feel odd at first when they bring their new partner to friend group events, but it will fade with time.


Remember to Communicate

Transitioning from friends to something more can be an exciting journey, but it can be a bit more complicated than other romantic relationships. The most important thing to remember in any relationship is to strive for open and honest communication. Without it, no matter how much love there is, you will have a difficult time keeping things moving forward in a meaningful way.



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